Michael Bird gives us ten reasons not to visit Friends Re-united. A preamble:
The people one went to school with were awful – a lottery in which you had no choice of companions. On the whole, the poor people were stupid, the rich people were nasty and the middle classes were boring.
Reason seven: exclamation marks!!!
But, in the information supplied on Friends Reunited, every time an exclamation mark is used, it reads like a scream from the void, appealing to the past to confirm to this person that their life has not been wasted. It is like Edward Woodward at the end of The Wicker Man shouting to God to prove that his faith is true, before the flames lap up his virgin soul.
Ah yes, The Wicker Man. "Born to a virgin made pregnant by a ghost." Good stuff.