the otters are coming

If penguins were designed by God:

March of the Penguins" has become more than a wildlife hit -- it is on track for becoming the most politically-contested movie in America since "Fahrenheit 9/11," Michael Moore's take on President George W. Bush's war on terror.

Little do they know it, but the penguins have been seized upon by conservative Christians as a parable of family virtues, a role model for men, an argument against abortion and convincing proof that Darwin was wrong.

The movie is "the motion picture this summer that most passionately affirms traditional norms like monogamy, sacrifice and child-rearing," film critic Michael Medved told The New York Times last week.

For devout Christians, he suggested, "This is the first movie they've enjoyed since 'The Passion of the Christ'. This is 'The Passion of the Penguins.'"

Then who designed otters?

Californian sea otter Morgan was abandoned as a pup, and taken into care by the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Sea Otter programmes, which attempts to rehabilitate parentless otters. But like so many products of the care system, it all went wrong.

When he was released back into the wild, Morgan became a serial killer paedophile... of baby seals.

Morgan used to shag the seal pups and when he was done with them, hold them under water to drown them. He raped and killed about 20 seals off the Californian coast, at one time even attracting a copycat Son-Of-Morgan rapist wild otter.

From the popbitch mailout.