I've been in hospital. It happened like this.
About a week ago I was lifting a heavy object and suddenly became aware of a shooting pain going from somwehere around the right hipbone down into the groin ending up somewhere around the perineum. Mmmm. Nice.
Being sensible, I stopped lifting heavy things immediately, and gave it no more thought than that. Anyway, the week goes on and the original pain diffuses into a nagging discomfort down the right side of the groin. At the same time, I'm developing a fever, with alternating shivering and sweating fits. I think this was why I continued to do nothing about it. Fever seems to affect the judgement. Incidentally, I wrote the last entry in that state. I hope anyone who ordered the book as a result isn't too disappointed.
Anyway, that all changed when I noticed that my right testicle had apparently swollen to around three times its normal size, assuming the texture if not quite the size of a basketball. This cut through the fog somewhat, and I stumbled down to A&E and from thence to a bed at North Manchester General, helped on my way by a vigorous series of palpitations by doctors of both junior and senior rank.
The boss doctor on the Medical Emergency ward told me what it was, but I couldn't take in the polysyllables through the fog. Some kind of trauma induced groin infection, for which the cure was bedrest and antibiotics in hospital until the temperature receded, then more antibiotics at home.
It was an incurably rotten experience, though the morphine on the first night came in handy.
So there you go. Light posting until I start to give a toss again. The word of the week is "gingerly." And of next week too, very probably.