red zone alert: huge baby spotted on Deansgate

Mrs Treasure’s latest report from the red zone brings news of an actually popular politician. Standing in a huddle on cigarette break outside her office with a few other pariahs, she noticed a disturbance in the Starbucks over the road. A scrum of burly men in shades burst out on to the street, and in the middle of them was none other than His Monicaness, former President Bill Clinton.

Well, there’s a thing. Everybody stared at him for a bit till he noticed them in return. Immediately, the eyes bulged out of the big moon face, the smile went up to about 1000 amps and he gave them a big, expansive wave.

The thing about Clinton is that he responds to people like a huge baby, and people instinctively respond to him in the same way. Mrs T and all the other women went aaaaah and waved their cigarettes back at him. A couple of the lads gave him a double thumbs up and shouted geezer and wah-hay and suchlike. Then he got into a limo and was driven off, leaving an impression of a big cheeky grin in mid air. Now that’s a proper president.

Then the janitor of the building where they all work came out and told them that there was a police sniper on the roof, which lowered the mood somewhat. Later, Jack Straw was spotted gladhanding away in the mini Sainsbury’s on Deansgate, but he couldn’t draw flies to a shit fight.