happy news

Says the Groan:

China has ordered its media to report only positive news and has imprisoned a pro-democracy dissident amid a clampdown on dissent ahead of the most important meeting of the communist party in five years.

So what’s putting a smile on the face of the eager Chinese news consumer this summer?

Linan city Qingliangfeng town party secretary Xu Xinxian had been busy with performing public service and passed away due to physical exhaustion in his car. Another excellent female cadre also laid down her life at the same time. According to information, the party secretary and the female cadre were discussing public business in a car. At the time, the car was out of gas and therefore the air conditioner was not working. Therefore, it was very hot inside in the car which was parked inside a garage. To relieve themselves from the heat, the two took off their clothes to continue discussing public business until they laid down their lives. The people of Qingliangfeng town are lucky to have such a responsible and good party secretary. This party secretary had worked hard for the people, and was performing work related to women right before he laid down his life. The people will remember his accomplishments in their hearts.

Can we guess what actually happened? Anyway, the saga goes on from there and is well worth reading in full. Back to the happy news directive:

Most state media have also been banned from reporting on the collapse of a bridge in southern China which killed at least 41 people. Reporters said local officials punched them and chased them from the scene of Monday's disaster.

According to messages from journalists trying to cover the story, this is how it went down:

Emergency call for help from fellow workers! (Please re-post as widely as possible)

Reporters covering the bridge collapse in Fenghuang: The reporter from Southern Metropolis Daily was seriously injured; the China Youth Daily reporter Hong Kefei was kicked a couple of times; the Oriental Observer reporter was also assaulted.

Xiangxizhou Communist Party Standing Committee member and Publicity Department director Zhou Xiaomao declared openly: only the Xinhua Agency and People's Daily reporters are protected and all other media are gathering news illegally and therefore their personal safety cannot be guaranteed!

At present, it is only known that the county government is taking these actions.