backward in saying

Asked if he had done anything inappropriate to a quokka, Mr Buswell replied: “No”.

Via. That’s a sentence to carve on gravestones. But this is what I’m getting at:

Asked if he was aware of any rumours about actions involving the small marsupials, which are indigenous to Rottnest Island, Mr Buswell said: “I have absolutely no idea about these stories of quokkas on Rottnest.

“I'm not being backward in saying that I'm not a perfect individual and you know I've had a robust past and there may be elements of that that have proved offensive to people.

And this is what he was talking about:

"We finished the meeting, I walked the bloke downstairs and out of parliament and when I got back I walked into the room to pick up my notepad from the desk and Buswell started grabbing the chairs going: 'Aahww, which one did you sit in? I'll be able to tell'," she said.

"And then he picked them up and started sniffing them and groaning and making sexually satisfying noises.

I think robust has finally found its level. Are you robust enough to be a chair-sniffer?

Comments

[dsquared]

What would be appropriate behaviour toward a quokka? I suspect that different people draw different lines with respect to these eminently fuckable, football-shaped, edible marsupials. Who I suspect have a pretty tough time of it.

[Chris Williams]

I note from his denial that he was careful to distance himself from improper Quokka-relating _on Rottnest Island_. What about other Quokka? The truth must out.

And how long before we see the headline: Improper Quokka Ocker Shocker?

[jamie]

Hmmm. Quokka would make a very good verb. The aussie press is obviously dying to find a pretext to use it that way. Also, I'm surprised some Telco hasn't lifted the name.

"Formerly the boring old state controlled ministry for wooden poles and wires, now privatized and rebranded as...Quokka! the savvy, zippy, nimble, mobile, twitchy, jerky, spazzy, jazzy, nifty, shifty people passionate about bringing all our futures together. Look at the cute marsupial."

[dsquared]

Improper Quokka Ocker Shocker?

it gets even better; apparently the rumour was (and apparently it's untrue) that a video existed of him kicking one of them about, so it would be an improper ocker quokka-soccer shocker.

[Chris Williams]

Untrue, eh? So you're an improper ocker quokka-soccer shocker knocker? I've always suspected as much.

[Dan Hardie]

Mr Kenny

I write regarding your recent scurrilous attack on the unsullied reputation of my client, the distinguished Australian statesman and animal-lover Mr Troy Buswell, respected throughout the Southern Hemisphere for his ability to assess the value of antique furniture by olfactory perceptions...