the meat of it

Charlie Brooker waffles on about Barack Obama a bit before getting to the real issue of the day: shuffling versus running zombies. That in turn is based on Simon Pegg’s article condemning Brooker for the liveliness of his zombies in Dead Set. Raised as I was on George Romero’s films, I’m a shuffler by inclination and tradition. I’m a shuffler by nature anyway. Also, they’re supposed to be dead. Having them run around the place just insults the dignity of zombietude. Anyway, Brooker puts forward the following arguments.

They HAD to run or the story wouldn't work. The outbreak had to knock the entire country out of action before the producers had time to evacuate the studios.

And that would have ruined an otherwise eminently credible plotline about Britain being taken over by the Cannibal Dead.

Even George Romero, the godfather of zombies, bent the rules from time to time. Witness the very first zombie in Night of the Living Dead, which moves at a fair old whack and even picks up a rock to try to smash a car window. Or the two kiddywink zombies in Dawn of the Dead, who burst out of a room and run - yes run - towards Ken Foree. I know you saw these scenes. You know you saw these scenes. And you also know that if this were a trial, this would be the moment where you splutter in the witness box and admit you're completely wrong.

Well, alright. There’s no reason why they couldn’t be slow generally and then pick up a remarkable turn of speed, like a pensioner suddenly realising he's walked halfway across a dual carriageway. The shuffling is supposed to suggest inevitability not predictability.

Running zombies are, to be frank, cheaper than stumbling ones. You only need one or two to present a massive threat. I love a huge mass of shambling undead as much as the next guy, but we couldn't afford that many crowd scenes. The original plan was to set the final episode six months in the future, by which time the zombies were badly decayed and could only shuffle (although "freshies" would still run), but budget and time constraints ruled this out. Which would you rather see - running zombies or absolutely no zombies at all?

Oh, come on. Media London’s full of rich kids poncing about as runners and interns and gofers on daddy’s allowance. And they’re all media tarts. Just get them all in one place and tell them to behave as they usually do. Badabing! Also, like I say, old folks. They come cheap and shuffle as a matter of course.

But these are quibbles. The meat of the issue is that surely this week, of all weeks, we should be honouring the memory of the glorious undead.

Comments

[Larry Teabag]

I'm inclined to agree. At the same time, Brooker's idea of zombies which start off able to run and slow down as they decompose, has some appeal.

But running or walking, Dead Set achieved, for me, a far more authentic, claustrophobic Romeroian apocalypse than Shaun managed. So it's not a deal-breaker.

[Madam Miaow]

Aaargh! It's started? How many episodes have I missed?

I love Charlie Brooker.