I not only have not had anything to do with the Conservative Party before, but I have always worked on the assumption that I would never have anything to do with the Conservative Party. I now discover that this makes me the ideal Tory MP.
Well, I’m game. It is strange that the party that seems certain to to form the next government wants to dissolve itself and hand the whole economy to the IMF.
UPDATE: After thinking about it, I have decided to enter my dog as a Conservative candidate for the next election.
Yes, she’s a dog. But that shouldn’t prevent her winning in any even remotely competitive seat. And she’s even more cute than Joanna Lumley.
OK, she’s not exactly steeped in Burke or Oakeshott. But she has been neutered and is thoroughly house trained. She’s also unusually good with children for a Jack Russell.
She’s a sharp wee beastie as well and can be a bit willful at times, but Mr Cameron says that he doesn’t want robots in the Conservative Party and I for one believe him. I can confirm that her canine status means that she is unable to fill in expenses forms. Surely the taxpayer will not begrudge her a couple of bonios or the odd pig’s ear?