Nelson Mandela apologised today after pictures emerged of him consorting with a notorious warlord responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people.
Speaking from his home in Johannesburg, the aged secular saint said: “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t long out of prison. I just didn’t understand who Tony Blair was.”
“You meet all kinds of people in politics – that nutter from Libya whose name escapes me, for instance.
But I was over the line here.”
Other world leaders sympathised, but said that Mr Mandela had shown a lapse in judgement.
“You should see my diary” said US president Barack Obama. “We call it the ugly book. But Tony Blair? That’s really got a kind of yuck factor.”
Once thought impregnable because of his role as a key satrap of the Khanate of Washington, a palace coup saw Blair ousted from his Downing Street stronghold by bitter factional rival Gordon Brown in 2007. An inconclusive 2010 election brought a reactionary junta drawn largely from the country’s traditional aristocracy to office, leaving many analysts troubled by the prospect of Britain becoming a failed state.
In 2008, regime change in Washington deprived Blair of his main sponsor. And the wave of people power revolutions in the Middle East has robbed him of his remaining friends and supporters among local regimes.
His current whereabouts have not been disclosed. Some rumours have Blair hiding under a water bed at the Sardinian harem of longtime ally Silvio Berlusconi. Others say he has retired to a bunker at the Bahamas estate of former regime troubadour Sir Cliff Richard, where he is believed to have stockpiled chemical and biological weapons.
World leaders say that Mr Mandela’s association with Blair is likely to damage his reputation.
“Politics is a rough old game” said China’s president Hu Jintao. “I got my start running round Lhasa wearing a tin helmet and telling my soldiers to shoot Tibetans.
“But meeting Blair? Eewwwwww. That’s a tragic lapse in judgement by a great man.”
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