Tories: Under the Conservatives, the law will be changed to enable householders to stab burglars.
Labour: Under common law, householders can stab burglars anyway and always have been able to stab burglars. Burglars were stabbed under Labour, you know.
Tories: We want to make it clear that burglars can be stabbed by householders. We want it right down there in black and white in Statute Law: The Go Ahead Granny and Stab that Burglar Just Like You Always Could Anyway Act, 2011.
Burglars: Not if I stab the householder first. Thanks for the heads up.