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April 18, 2012

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Sam Dodsworth

Well, obviously the Ahnenerbe-SS were careful to remove all traces of their presence once the moon base achieved self-sufficiency.

Alex

Eisführer's Log, Day 17: Turned out cold again.

Barry Freed

"Ich könnte einige Zeit dauern..."

Alex

sein, not dauern. he didn't say "I may last some time" - even if he meant it....

Barry Freed

Damn it, I knew I'd botched it (rusty ten year old German for graduate school taken in an intensive summer course + Google translate is an untrustworthy combination).

skidmarx

A friend mentioned the other day that it was the Yugoslav space programme that took Americans to the moon.

Barry Freed

Also forgotten: The old Negro Space Program.

johnf

So this is where the science of cryogenics was started. Soon hordes of Nazi dentists played by overacting British theatrical hams are going to be invading our shopping malls. And not before time say I.

belle le triste

Further dots that need connecting here: the Piri Reis map, Lovecraft and/or The Thing, Lake Vostok, The Bloop

Barry Freed

A dangerous path. The Bloop will be the last thing connected. Ever.

skidmarx

The Egyptians needed the map so they could find the cocaine. As John Kessel tells us in Invaders, the response to "We welcome you in the name of the United States and all humanity" is "We need cocaine. We need lots of cocaine." [From memory]

Not sure about the other four.

Jakob

Alex: that's triggered a memory of the BBC news ad with the Berliner popping out the night the wall came down: "Geh mal raus, wa?"

skidmarx
Alex

Eisführer's Log, Day 517: Chilly this morning. News from Germany not as optimistic as it used to be.

ajay

Eisführer's Log, supplemental. I am growing increasingly convinced that many of these penguins are in fact of Jewish blood.

ajay

skidmarx: "But, alas, we delved too deep, and woke an ancient evil..." You could write a nice little allegory about a world in which the Resource Curse is an actual curse. As in, releases evil chthonic spirits.

Richard J

Eisführer's Log, Day 632: Christ, it's fucking freezing. Even Smolensk wasn't this bad.

ajay

Untereisfuhrer's personal diary, day 791: I'm sick of this, I'm off. Maybe I'll get a job as Pope or something.

Richard J

Eisfuhrer's Log, Day 1,350: Received a postcard from JM and MB this am from Paraguay. "Come on in, the Stroessner's lovely!" Bastards.

Alex

Eisführer's Log, Day 3,570: Ze British are comink!

belle le triste

Eisfuhrer's Log, final entry: For God's sake don't look after our Volk, who prove unworthy of surviving me.

belle le triste

The First Age ended when Thangorodrim reached Peak Balrog and was cast down.

CMcM

Eisfuhrer's Log, penultimate entry: Gott in Himmel, nothing ever changes. It's like being trapped in a Downfall video. Why can't anyone think of new words to say?

Barry Freed

A page is found that has been torn out of the log and fashioned into a paper airplane resembling a Me 163 Komet, unfolded it reads:
Eisführer's Log, Day 2,384: Have received odd transmission in PURPLE from Japanese intelligence officer in the Philippines, something about guarding the Emperor’s gold and how he had to make his wireless from salvaged parts of a crashed Kawanishi N1K and a coconut. He asks if it’s true the war is over. Lost another toe today. Down to three on each foot.

Alex

More log entries have been discovered.

EL 1870: I think the Untereisfuhrer is up to something. I have removed the rotor arms from both engines on the Dornier Wal.

EL 1877: This morning a member of the penguin-masonic conspiracy was discovered within the perimeter. Clearly the Untereisfuhrer is harbouring disloyal thoughts.

EL 1880: A triumph. My project to carve the likeness of the Fuhrer into the ice opposite my bunk has succeeded beyond all expectations. Decided to scale it up and do an ice cliff on the side of the Hellwig Mountains. If only Dr. Breker could be here!

EL 1881: Untereisfuhrer was noticeably sceptical of the new project this morning. Went so far as to refuse to get up and take an ice drill. Complained of low temperatures.

I have started on the moustache.

EL 1882: Convened a fliegende Standgericht with the zweite Untereisfuhrer to deal with the case of the Untereisfuhrer. Confessed after special treatment that he had made a separate peace with the black-and-white Bolsheviks.

Assigned the Funker as firing squad.

EL 1882: Brrr.

EL 1883: A certain Trubsinn descends. Snow.

Alex

EL 1884: Searching the former Untereisfuhrer's belongings, I have discovered further evidence of his disloyalty. He has been keeping a diary, and seems to have been mocking me and the nation itself by composing a shameful skit of my official log...

Simstim

Am I the only one who's imagining these being read in the style of the voiceover guy in Big Brother?

Alex

EL 2,075: The hairpiece is taking longer than I expected, but any activity here is welcome.

Richard J

EL 2,100: It has become necessary to launch Fall Otzi against the Spheniscine-Jewish-Bolshevik Horde as a preemptive strike to secure the genetically pure future of the Nordic race.

Not entirely convinced that UntEisFuh has been strictly following my strict injunctions about intermingling with this degenerate rabble.

That said, one must admit that after so many verkakten Jahren in this place, the dainty curve of their win... Nein, nein, Ich muss Stark sein!

ajay

"Am I the only one who's imagining these being read in the style of the voiceover guy in Big Brother?"

You were.

alle

EL 3,010: The Bolshevik hordes are here! Our SS-pheniscidae has been completely overwhelmed. We are confined to the sub-surface complex, with no way to access the Rundflugzeug.

EL 3,011. Our ground-level entrance has been sealed by the enemy, using what appears to be a large marble slab. Confused reports from Weddelrobbe Aufklärung claim that the structure is topped by a human head. Morale breaking down.

EL 3,015: Wo ist Steiner?!

EL 3,020: They have failed me. Have ordered the Untereisführer to prepare my marriage with that very alluring crested penguin which we trapped in the Amundsen Sea.

EL 3,021: Götterdämmerung. Heil Hitler!

alle

Also, for some reason, this comes to mind.

Alex

"The point in Antarctica most distant from any ocean...abandoned as being too far from other stations for safe operation"

trust the Russians to kick it up a notch.

belle le triste

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3skQkPASKw

^^^More penguins

Strategist

Untereisfuhrer Herzog.

JamesP

I recommend Jocelyn Goodwin's ARKTOS: THE POLAR MYTH IN SCIENCE, SYMBOLISM, AND NAZI SURVIVAL, by the way.

Phil

"The polar myth in ... Nazi survival"? Not too sure about that preposition.

Barry Freed

EL 3,020: They have failed me. Have ordered the Untereisführer to prepare my marriage with that very alluring crested penguin which we trapped in the Amundsen Sea.

EL 3,021: Götterdämmerung. Heil Hitler!

El 3,021: Uttered at moment of catastrophe or consummation?

CMcM

Neither catastrophe or consummation: just the moment the Eisführer realised he had got stuck incubating the egg for six months as his penguin bride headed for the sea...

Richard J

"Brunnhilde, Heilige Braut!"

Barry Freed

...where she was promptly devoured by a Bolshie leopard seal.

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