A few weeks back I was stuck in a barber's chair while the perennial local UKIP candidate for the council told me at length why Angela Merkel was a Secret Communist, a fact that had evaded the German counterintelligence service but didn't get by him, oh no. He was there again today so I got revenge by baiting him with a little mild republicanism. Then I struck gold:
"You know what'll happen if we get rid of the monarchy don't you? It'll be President Roy Hattersley!"
Hattersley Klaxon! BUt you can see his point. Hattersley's got the appropriate retired statesman as amiable old doofus persona, and he's written a couple of books so we know he won't be wiping his nose on his sleeve while opening Parliament or meeting his equivalent Grand Whimwhams.
But why is it always Roy Hattersley in these arguments; and why does he feature in them as a kind of he-witch, anxious to hurry the country to final dissolution amidst the flames and the cavorting of council funded lesbians? The 'kippers, like the decents, seem to have a collective demonology in which minor or absurdly inappropriate figures loom ridculously large, weilding ptchforks. Maybe in this case it goes back to the Common Market referendum back in '75.
Anyway, it all gave me a warm feeling for the ancient teddybear of the Labour Right, and I have an urge to obtain a large flag bearing his portrait, against an appropriately scarlet background, perhaps also with some cavorting lesbians in there somewhere, to fly on weekends such as these.