non-specific protein

I note that parts of dobbin have been discovered, specifically, in Tesco’s economy burgers. Get yourself a nice, hot cup of watered brick dust and celebrate the return to the good old days of adulterated food for the poor.

And indeed for the elderly. I also know someone who does the dotcom rounds at a Tesco store, working from lists sent in by customers. Sometimes these include requests for economy lines in huge volumes. Just the basics – tins of watery baked beans, sausages made mainly from chicken fat, bread reminiscent of polystyrene and of course burgers fresh from the knacker’s yard and so on. These orders are mainly from private care homes, and they’re usually the first in the queue when she clocks on at six in the morning. That way the delivery gets made early, when there are no visitors around.

I’ve not seen her in a while, but I bet she’s really enjoying all the witty banter from customers today.

Comments

[Alex]

When I worked in Kwik Save, one of the regular customers for a ton of various No Frills products was the local fire station. No Frills bread, No Frills bacon, No Frills kittyburgers, No Frills teabags, No Frills lager.

Another regular bulk buyer was the Italian restaurant that bought vast quantities of Kwik Save Red and Kwik Save White at £1.19 a shot, scrubbed off the labels and sold them as the house wine. They were actually within the same development, and they used to scuttle bashfully across the forecourt with a trolley stuffed with plonk over to their kitchen door.

We eventually started keeping a stock truck loaded up with the wine in cases, which they could handle more discreetly and less often (perhaps twice a month), in exchange for a bulk discount. Happy days, eh.

[des von bladet]

There was an article in our local newspaper last weekend(Dagblad van het Noorden) extolling the virtues of horse meat. It's also used as filler here, but allegedly they also cop to it in the ingredients small print.

Older people complain that you never see a nice bit of paardenrookvlees anymore.

But then, we also can't get the supermarket to deliver.

[chris y]

Nothing wrong with horse meat. See: Greene, Graham, Monsignor Quixote.

Our ancestors hunted the buggers for food for millennia before they thought of making them carry the luggage.

[johnf]

My son bought some wafer-thin, air dried, smoked horse meat from Spain last week and very nice it was too - creamy, cheesy, subtle. (He brings back Catalan black pudding too).

I gave some to a Methodist teetotal friend who is very fond of the gee gees. She loved it. I haven't yet plucked up the courage to tell her what she was eating.

Is there a subtle way to introduce the subject?

[Barry Freed]

Is there a subtle way to introduce the subject?

Did they ever broadcast Mister Ed over there?

[ajay]

"You've always had a lot of admiration for the lifestyle of Genghis Khan, haven't you?"

[ajay]

"Ah, reading the Hobbit I see. I've always wondered whether you can actually tell from the taste whether you're eating a pony that's been ridden by dwarfs or not..."

[dsquared]

"Do you remember that Roald Dahl story about the man who murdered one of his enemies then fed his body to unwitting dinner guests? Well, don't worry, I've never done that ..."

[Richard J]

'The French have a history of eating strange animals; why in the Siege of Paris, they ended up eating the two elephants in the Jardin d'Acclimitisation , Castor and Pollux. What will they thing of eating next...'

[bert]

"Wonderful news! They've found Shergar."

[johnf]

Very good. I feel boldened in my task.

[jamie]

'You know that saying about how the Cantonese will eat anything with four legs that isn't a table? This is not a table.'

[Phil]

Four legs? A friend of mine whose partner is Chinese (American) said once how he'd spotted an unusual bird near his house; he watched it for a while, found some binoculars, watched it some more, looked it up and came to the conclusion that it was unmistakably a peregrine falcon - an actual peregrine falcon! Look, look! he said to his wife - a peregrine falcon - it really is a peregrine falcon! She looked blank, then brightened up and said, Can you eat it?.

[Chris Williams]

To which the answer is "Yes. Tastes a bit like swan." - that joke trad. arr. Barry Cryer

[Seeds]

Do you remember that Roald Dahl story about the man who murdered one of his enemies then fed his body to unwitting dinner guests?

Wasn't it a woman murdering her policeman husband, and then feeding the murder weapon to his colleagues? Or am I mixing up another of his stories?

[Martin Wisse]

"I've had a sore throat recently and felt a little hoarse. Funny thing though..."

[dsquared]

Sorry Seeds - I think I may have created a fictitious (though plausible) member of the Dahl ouvre.

[johnf]

I suppose they must have edible breeds of horses just as they have racing breeds and ones which pull milk floats. Edible apples and cider apples.

I had a mongrel for years - it had a lot of Manchester terrier in it - which I gravely informed young children was a Korean Edible Dog which I'd saved from the massed knives and forks of hundreds of Koreans by the skin of its teeth.

[Leonard Hatred]

Seeds; dsquared: Seeds is right (except I don't think her husband is a policeman, he's just probably been having an affair). The story is called Lamb to the Slaughter.

[ajay]

To which the answer is "Yes. Tastes a bit like swan." - that joke trad. arr. Barry Cryer

The story's been told about Frank Buckland that he returned from an expedition overseas and proudly announced that he had fulfilled a lifetime ambition: he had eaten penguin.
"What does it taste like?"

"Rather like guillemot," he replied.

[Chris Brooke]

Do these stories attach to Frank Buckland as well? The one I've heard, but attributed to his father William, I think, is about how he visited an Italian cathedral where they had a patch on the floor that was supposed to be where a martyr's blood was miraculously continuing to bleed, licked the damp bit and said, "I know what that is; it's bat's urine".

[ajay]

Maybe it was William Buckland.