a confession

This is curious:

Earwax comes in two types, wet and dry. The wet form predominates in Africa and Europe, where 97 percent or more of the people have it, and the dry form among East Asians, while populations of Southern and Central Asia are roughly half and half. By comparing the DNA of Japanese with each type, the researchers were able to identify the gene that controls which type a person has, they report in the Monday issue of Nature Genetics.

…since I have dry earwax. I suppose it must be due to my origins in the ancient Tangut community in Stoke-on-Trent. They’re good people. Not like those Buryats over in Newcastle-under-Lyme, who have a lot of filthy kids and keep coal in the bath.

Mind you, I’m only a Stokie on my mum’s side. The other side of the family hail from Lithuania originally (long story), where people with dry and wet earwax live happily side by side, appreciating one another’s cultures and generally existing in a warm glow of diversity.

Yes, I’m a believer in multiearwaxism. I realize that this makes me a helpless dupe of the brown hordes of Islam, but what can I do? I’m a dry-eared man in a wet eared country.

I see that the monoearwaxists are fighting back. Everything good in our culture was made by people with squelchy ears, they say. I suppose they’ll be coming for me soon. With cotton buds.

Comments

[dearieme]

"I’m a dry-eared man in a wet eared country."
Either I've missed an allusion or you also have a song-writing gene.