golden goal

So, then: got everything you need for the World Cup?

100,000 England fans will descend on Germany for the World Cup Finals in June, along with an estimated 40,000 prostitutes, who'll swell the numbers working in the country's legal brothels. England fans face additional temptation. Frankfurt, which will play host to England for the group-stage matches, is also home to the Bahnhofsviertel, one of the largest red light districts in the world, where specially licensed World Cup brothels are being provided to keep the influx of visitors happy off the pitch.

England fans who hope to score in one of the so-called Eros Centres should ensure they have their special England Supporter Condoms to hand. Each pack contains five specially selected condoms from the vast Durex range to maximise performance and guarantee a safe climax. The Durex England Supporter pack includes the ribbed and raised dot-textured Pleasuremax, the mint-flavoured Mint Tingle, and the classic Performa, which contains a special lubricant that helps delay climax for men, ensuring any extra time in gets used to its full potential.

via. They also come in Brazilian, by the way. And Japanese.

And how many of these roughly three and a half infantry divisions worth of prostitutes being shipped in are going to be there on the level, as it were? From Interpress back in January:

The World Cup means that the traffickers will be even more active. Fraudulent job offers in hotels and restaurants may attract many women from Eastern Europe, who will enter the country on tourist visas.

"Others may be willing to participate in porn shows or as strippers, but in fact they will be forced to have sex with as many men as possible for very little money," Helwerth explained.

Yes, I know. I'm just a hairy legged old killjoy.