advice to conservatives

Luckily, a millionaire client saved me. I thank God for Maurice Brightwell who was a 75 year old eccentric male-to-female transsexual. In November 1995 he welcomed me into his home at 9 Galveston Road, Sovereign harbour, Eastbourne, East Sussex. BN23 5RH. In December 1995 we entered a marriage of convenience at Eastbourne's Registry Office. He was upper middle class, and a renowned mechanical engineer and thermodynamacist who had invented the fins of the turbos of the Fortress Bomber in WW2. He also redesigned the central heating system on the QE2. He had a sex change at the age of 68, and changed his name to Marion Wells. The Sunday People tabloid newspaper gatecrashed our wedding and reported "Miss Whiplash marries a woman". Sadly my husband went senile at 78 and we divorced. I wanted him/her to remain living with me as a companion, but Social Services poked their noses in and carted him/her into Greenwich local authority care where he died soon after of a head injury caused from falling over. I suspected he/she was pushed down the stairs by a frustrated care worker, but because I was 'Miss Whiplash' and he was an elderly sex-change, which made us 'lesser' people, nobody listened to me. Poor Marion!

Miss Whiplash has now officially found God. She was essentially a minor media project of the Tory years, and New Labour can’t have been good to her. Say what you like about Blunkett and Prescott, no ZanuLiebore functionary has ever been found dangling in suspenders while sucking on a satsuma. Such privileges have traditionally gone to the right wing. Oaten aside, the Tories have generally had the monopoly of sexual exotica, which was where Ms St Clair came in.

And good for them: aside from anything else, this shows a willingness to trust the individual. But I think it’s time we asked what the forthcoming government might promise us in terms of sex scandals. I don’t think we’re going to get particularly adventurous behavior in the new dispensation, but I also don’t see why we should go through the tedious process of believing that some kind of moral ascendancy is involved in its rise to power, and then waiting for the inevitable creeping disillusionment before the news seeps out of who’s fucking who, and how. Come on, Dave, tell, or at least leak. I know it’s a cheap thrill, but help us out. Get your decadence in early. Get it over with. Destroy your enemies before you take power.

Comments

[Dave Weeden]

From the BBC article. "I have always met rubbish people - now I'd like someone nice in my life." Very sad, given the paragraph quoted above. But revisionism is like that.

As for the conservatives, Alan Clark went through a mini-revival on the 10th anniversary of his death, mostly because he was such an inveterate puller. He doesn't seem to have been as interested in sex as in serial conquest. Sad that people think of him as a failure otherwise: writing a best-selling history book which was adapted by a left-wing theatre outfit into a long-running show is success in my book. And not getting on with Thatcher was a feature, not a bug, as they say.

[redpesto]

Well, there was the Ron Davis Clapham Common incident, and Robin Cook (though Campbell controlled much of the fallout from the latter), but you're right: the Tories will offer much more (ahem) exotic fare. That said, New Labour's gay-friendly legislation makes it easier for even Tories to come out of the closet (see Alan Duncan, who will be had by the media over money rather than sex). My guess is that 'satsuma-type' incidents (i.e. kinky sex) or the usual stripper/prostitute/lapdancer fracas will be the best option.

PS: I also reckon Nadine Dorries (the poor person's mix of Edwina Currie and Ann Widdecombe) could be worth a comedy moment or two.

[thrustvector.wordpress.com]

The thought of Clark as a success scares me - in a party of shits he was a stand-out. None of his history is taken seriously anymore; his hooray for Herrenvolk Naziphilia is only one of the reasons.

[Dave Weeden]

Well, here's some Alan Clark revisionism and more. Part of his appeal comes from the photo that illustrates the second link. Of course, to get back on topic, the real thrill for a true tory would come from the dressing up as a washerwoman part. Me, I'd be much happier with a bestseller adapted for the stage than with a political career. Of course, I have neither.