a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi

Paul Cotterill publishes comparative membership charges for vaguely leftist waffle merchants Compass and eccentrically rightist unthinktank Respublica, otherwise known as Philip Blond’s attempt to give his fantasy world wider purchase in reality. The obvious snark here is that it proves that the lefties have a better grasp of the price mechanism, but that doesn’t really work because compared to Philip Blond my dog has a better grasp of the price mechanism. 

Apparently, for a mere fifty thousand quid you can become a Founder of Respublica, which amongst other things is a triumph of hope over the English language. 

Here’s a list of what you get for your fifty thousand quid, interspersed with the lyrics of What Do You Want from Life by the Tubes. 

Monthly email newsletter

a heated kidney shaped pool 

Priority invitation to ResPublica events, conferences and publication launches 

a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi 

Exclusive members’ opportunity to contribute ideas to the Disraeli Room blog 

a Gucci shoetree 

Hard copies of ResPublica’s reports, publications and briefings 

a year's supply of antibiotics 

A hard copy of the ResPublica Annual Report 

a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick 

Invitations to the private ResPublica monthly members’ policy dinners, with prominent political speakers and the opportunity to help frame the work of ResPublica 

Rosemary's baby! 

Private briefings with the Director and Deputy Director of ResPublica 

a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebagos we're giving 'em away 

Individual updates with the Director of ResPublica or how about a McCulloch chainsaw? 

Exclusive invitation to the ResPublica annual reception with prominent political speaker 

a Las Vegas wedding 

Invitations to private dinners with the Director, Deputy Director and Fellows of ResPublica 

a Mexican divorce 

Top table at the ResPublica founders’ annual private dinner with prominent political speaker 

a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot 

Opportunity to establish an intellectual legacy with the sponsorship of an event/conference/report 

or a baby's arm holding an apple? 

Can you tell which is which? Hint: the Tubes are offering things of measurable value.

Comments

[Phil]

For fifty big ones I should hope your hard copy of the ResPublica Annual Report comes with a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick.

It's insane - like someone who'd been reading about the newsletter subscription racket and the Co$ membership model, then fallen asleep and had an awful dream. But there may be method in't. If you're running a newsletter it really doesn't matter that you've only persuaded 100 people to pay £900 a year, because 100 £900s will do very nicely thankyou. Similarly, they don't actually need lots of people to take the idea of becoming a Founder seriously; they only need a couple of annual £50k standing orders and they're quids in.

[jamie]

Oh yes, except that I think they need more than ninety to 100 grand pa if they're going to maintain the setup, so I think the actual scam target are people targeted for higher level membership than that: they need more money to fund getting to the real money, and to the motherlode of wingnut welfare in the US. Maybe half a million?

I suppose there's an argument that every bit of cash that goes down this dead end doesn't go to the "Taxpayer's Alliance", but they're blatantly promising to make their funders actually, tangibly richer, so their money's locked in. Blond's just grubbing around in whatever surplus enthusiasm exists. He's the definition of insult to injury.

[Nike Shox Rivalry]

Hua hua his career to listen to the people, his value must be hair immaterial. The man is often hard to talk, they showed great undertakings of their great, but in the planning of the major cause, they are silent.

[Phil]

I agree with Nike.

[Chris Williams]

Hmm . . . Nike's intervention has left me disconcerted. If the spambots ever do develop an (initially rudimentary) intelligence, I've always thought that it would look a bit like this to start with. "The man is often hard to talk", indeed.

[Alex]

Loebner Prize committee around me, please! We'll know when they're really intelligent because they'll start their own wanktank. If you think about it, it shouldn't be impossible to automate the process of wanktank formation and deployment. You could fill up the "Publications" section with randomly retrieved powerpoint presentations from the www - a bit like PowerPoint Karaoke.