I've realized that my brain is fundamentally split into "English" and "foreign," because I spent an entire conversation today referring to October as "the eighth month" in Chinese.
I think this is going to be my Telegraph-letter thing. "Dear Sir, When will we finally see a return to the good old English new year of March 25? This January notion, imposed on us no doubt by Brussels bureaucrats, makes no sense either by season or etymology!"
Dear Sir, When will we finally see a return to the good old English new year of March 25?
The government, bar the minor change required by moving to the new-fangled Gregorian calendar, has never given it up, of course.
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 10:11 AM
It makes perfect sense by etymology: Janus, the two faced god, looking backwards into the old year and forwards into the new.
Posted by: chris y | June 14, 2011 at 10:49 AM
Circumcision-style dating: what could be more wholesome?
Posted by: Gareth Rees | June 14, 2011 at 11:06 AM
Telegraph letters don't have to be consistent, Chris.
But yes, the logical thing to do would be to remove the unfortunate interlopers of July and August. Imperial pretentiousness! I blame Brussels!
Pop quiz; which major fictional event takes place on March 25?
Posted by: JamesP | June 14, 2011 at 11:14 AM
which major fictional event takes place on March 25?
Without checking, I think it's the destruction of the Ring, in "Lord of the Rings".
(googles)
Ha.
Posted by: ajay | June 14, 2011 at 11:19 AM
I occasionally wonder why the greeting card industry hasn't had a go at helping people to celebrate "Old Lady Day". Come on guys, we all know an old lady! Show her how much you appreciate her on the 6th of April!
Posted by: dsquared | June 14, 2011 at 12:06 PM
Show her how much you appreciate her on the 6th of April!
I'd actually have it on 25th March. Gives time for her cheque to clear to take advantage of the annual £3,000 IHT exemption.
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 12:21 PM
I do, in fact, mark the 6th of April every year. It's the anniversary of the day I started my first proper job, and every year I take note of how far ahead of the game I'm not.
Posted by: ejh | June 14, 2011 at 12:42 PM
Proper old ladies take cash only, so they can conceal it under their mattresses.
Posted by: ajay | June 14, 2011 at 12:48 PM
ajay> Ah, but you want to make sure you've laid down a paper trail for this to work.
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 01:11 PM
I celebrate my first proper job not annually but geographically, by taking every opportunity to point out to my children the cashpoint at which I was standing when I confirmed that I'd been paid an actual salary, with sick pay and (then) a pension, holiday entitlement, and all that stuff. It's in Hunstanton, a few hundred yards from the world's best dodgems. Feel free to leave flowers, etc, if you're passing.
Posted by: Chris Williams | June 14, 2011 at 01:35 PM
My overriding memory of my first day in my first proper job was discovering that some of my fellow graduate trainees had actually chosen tax advising as a career path, and had been working towards getting a job in it throughout their degree course; rather than graduating at something of a loose end, and applied for an indoor job in London with no heavy lifting involved.
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 01:43 PM
Ah, but you want to make sure you've laid down a paper trail for this to work.
Proper old ladies always give receipts.
Posted by: ajay | June 14, 2011 at 02:21 PM
Ah, but you're wanting to show that it's a truly ex gratia gift. A receipt might suggest it was for services, um, rendered.
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 02:25 PM
Which has now brought this into my mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0DeIqJm4vM
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 02:27 PM
Wayne Rooney's accountant probably has details.
RJ, indeed. Anyone who a) has career aspirations when they're 17 and b) they're not vet, doctor, scientist, writer or pop star, is a disturbing weirdo.
Posted by: john b | June 14, 2011 at 02:29 PM
(+ ACTOR & sportsperson, on reflection, but that genuinely is about it)
Posted by: john b | June 14, 2011 at 02:42 PM
"When did you decide to be a policeman?"
"Officer."
"When did you decide to be a policeman, officer?"
"I can't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer. Except for when I was seven and wanted to be Kermit the Frog."
Posted by: ajay | June 14, 2011 at 02:54 PM
john> I'd tentatively include lawyer in the list.
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 03:05 PM
RJ: I did know someone who wanted to be a lawyer from the age of about 9, but a) both his parents were lawyers and b) I wouldn't be too hasty about putting him in the "not a disturbing weirdo" category.
Posted by: ajay | June 14, 2011 at 03:29 PM
Obviously anybody who wanted to be a teacher would be a disturbing weirdo.
Or maybe there's another explanation.
Posted by: ejh | June 14, 2011 at 06:29 PM
I didn't know there were dodgems in Hunstanton. They've got to be better than the Sea Life Sanctuary.
Posted by: ejh | June 14, 2011 at 06:31 PM
They are.
Posted by: chris williams | June 14, 2011 at 07:09 PM
Presumably they're not driven by parched-half-to-death seals, for instance.
Posted by: ejh | June 14, 2011 at 07:16 PM
Some kind of slodger/gannet cross breed takes the cash, but aside from that the set-up is 100% human. As for the sea life centre itself, I've got to put in a word for the giant tank of rays. Rays are cool.
Posted by: chris williams | June 14, 2011 at 07:21 PM
Ejh> your sub-textual point is well taken. On the other hand, a 17-year old wanting to become a teacher, knowing full well what most pupils think about most of their teachers, has an...unusual degree of optimism, thick-skinnedness and/or insanity.
Posted by: Richard J | June 14, 2011 at 08:26 PM
My best friend when we were both nine wanted to be a jet fighter-plane pilot, and became one. I re-met him briefly, by chance, 15 years later -- and he told me he could fly from end-to-end of the country in nine minutes (or something equally mad). He was still a very nice fellow but we had nothing in common any more.
Posted by: belle le triste | June 14, 2011 at 09:02 PM
I think Computer Programmer and engineer are fairly common aspirations, though your definition of weirdo may catch them out.
A guy on my course at uni had, by the age of 17 already been a (successful) computer games designer and international junior chess grandmaster (sorry Justin if I got that wrong - I don't do chess). He since seems to have added neuro-scientist and business man to that list. Which I could just about take if he wasn't such a nice, well adjusted, person.
Posted by: Cian | June 14, 2011 at 11:00 PM
Pilot's a good one I missed; I'll also take engineer, games programmer (although not database designer), and barrister (although not solicitor).
Posted by: john b | June 15, 2011 at 06:20 AM
Tinkers and tailors not so much maybe, but no budding junior soldiers or spies?
Less surprisingly, there is no space for nurse or primary-school/kindergarten teacher, air hostess or model or any of the stereotypically Non-Default Gender options here. Butch imaginary lesbians only, eh?
(I always wanted to be a computer programmer. And now I am! Win!)
Posted by: des von bladet | June 15, 2011 at 07:10 AM
Life may have changed I suspect - or at least the balance of 'acceptable to express hopes for the future' may have altered amongst 17 yr olds. All this endless droning on about (i)the skills based knowledge economy and wot not; and (ii)the need to up our national game vis a via the Asiatic surge to 21st Century dominance may have had its effect. Some folk now dealing with teenagers say they're disturbingly narrow and vocationally fixated.
Posted by: CharlieMcMenamin | June 15, 2011 at 09:36 AM
Less surprisingly, there is no space for nurse or primary-school/kindergarten teacher, air hostess or model or any of the stereotypically Non-Default Gender options here. Butch imaginary lesbians only, eh?
Writer, vet and doctor are all predominantly female professions, and so is pop star (probably). Scientist I don't know about.
Posted by: ajay | June 15, 2011 at 09:39 AM
Installed bases change slower than university intakes, and stereotypes change slower than facts on the ground.
Posted by: des von bladet | June 15, 2011 at 10:08 AM
"I want to be a tinker!"
"You already are, lad, you already are."
Posted by: belle le triste | June 15, 2011 at 10:42 AM
In the many, many thousands of Alex Ferguson interviews I have read or watched over the years one in particular always sticks in my memory. He was generally lauding the application of whatever generation of young players he was then bigging up and mentioned in passing that he'd once had a lad in the academy who gave it up, despite being promising, to become a tailor 'because that's what he had always wanted to do'.
(Cue baffled shaking of head by Govan's homegrown Beria...)
Posted by: CharlieMcMenamin | June 15, 2011 at 11:01 AM
Charlie> There's something in that, I think. My younger sister is just, oh, seven years younger than me, but while tutition fees came in the year or two after I started, her cohort spent their secondary school years knowing they'd have to pay £3,000 pa for the privilege of a university education.
She's bright, has a first in biochemistry from a good red brick, but, well, scarily lacking in intellectual curiousity.
Posted by: Richard J | June 15, 2011 at 12:06 PM
RJ: I did know someone who wanted to be a lawyer from the age of about 9, but a) both his parents were lawyers and b) I wouldn't be too hasty about putting him in the "not a disturbing weirdo" category.
I once knew somebody who at the age of 15 desperately wanted to be an actuary. Five years later he was an embarrassingly sectarian spokesperson for IS(SWP). A quick google shows that he wound up in the academy.
Posted by: chris y | June 15, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Without wishing to stereotype, Richard, that describes most of the people I know who graduated in science when there was still (barely) a grant. If you want to get a good degree in science it doesn't leave a lot of time for other activities.
Posted by: cian | June 15, 2011 at 03:18 PM
Without wishing to stereotype, Richard, that describes most of the people I know who graduated in science when there was still (barely) a grant
It applied to surprisingly few of the people on my physics course, oddly. Mind, none of us actually did much in the way of, um, studying.
Posted by: Richard J | June 15, 2011 at 03:31 PM
"when I was a kid I wanted to either be a librarian or Batgirl. But then, Batgirl was a librarian."
Disturbing weirdo?
Posted by: skidmarx | June 15, 2011 at 04:05 PM
Come to think of it, I went to school with a promising footballer who passed up a contract with Bradford City to become an accountant.
Which, on the face of it, was probably a good decision sparing him years of humiliation and grinding boredom while also keeping a reasonable chance of getting rich.
Posted by: Alex | June 15, 2011 at 04:41 PM
A guy on my course at uni had, by the age of 17 already been a (successful) computer games designer and international junior chess grandmaster (sorry Justin if I got that wrong - I don't do chess)
Yes, there's no such thing as a junior grandmaster, I'm afraid. Still, I'm intrigued.
I hope it wasn't David Norwood.
Posted by: ejh | June 15, 2011 at 07:44 PM
Yeah, that's my spin on it. He'd played internationally as a youngster.
And no it isn't, he was a nice guy.
Posted by: Cian | June 15, 2011 at 09:51 PM
?
Posted by: ejh | June 15, 2011 at 10:09 PM
that's him. Any chess details I got wrong are my own dodgy memory.
Posted by: Cian | June 16, 2011 at 08:41 AM
I see I lost to him in Charlton in 1992.
Posted by: ejh | June 16, 2011 at 08:56 AM
Christ. Two years younger than me. Depressed now.
Posted by: Martin Wisse | June 16, 2011 at 09:09 AM
Martin, it's understandable to get depressed when you realise you're older than, say, members of the Cabinet, but if you're going to get depressed when you realise that there are chess grand masters younger than you, you must have started getting depressed at about 15 or so.
Posted by: ajay | June 16, 2011 at 12:02 PM
Hell, I long ago resigned myself to failing the Alexander the Great metric.
OT: Is everybody reading Paul Mason's Greek blogging? Fucking 'ell...
Posted by: Richard J | June 16, 2011 at 12:34 PM
Reading it? I'm emailing everyone I've ever met to get them to read Mason....
Posted by: CharlieMcMenamin | June 16, 2011 at 12:46 PM