the good word is not logistics

The education secretary is malfunctioning in mysterious ways:

A plan by the education secretary Michael Gove to send a copy of the King James Bible to every school in the country – each including a personal inscription from him – has run into trouble after government sources reported he has been told to find private funding for the project.

Sources said David Cameron told Gove that while he supported the idea, the education secretary should avoid using taxpayers' money for it. But Gove has yet to find a private philanthropic sponsor for the enterprise, and some Whitehall sources said he has been told he cannot distribute the book until he does so, leaving thousands of copies in a warehouse abroad.

Well it's much more efficient to leave them all in one warehouse rather than have them taking up space in school cupboards all over the country.

So first this week, Gove proposes that we the taxpayer give the Queen a brand new 'yacht', which is to say a brand new luxury liner. Then it's all going to be paid for by private philanthropists who presumably want favours from the government. Now it's a retread with the Gove-endorsed Bible. And, I suppose, when the time comes, it will turn out that the giant, revolving, gold plated statue of Michael Gove, complete with insciption by God himself in the English what King James Jesus Spoke, will have to seek private funding sources.

Incidentally, this raises the question of who paid for the printing of the witch-burner's version. Since it contains a personal recommendation by Michael Gove himself, some additional work would have had to be done, even if it involved pasting the foreward into copies nicked from American motels.

 

Comments

[john f]

>he cannot distribute the book until he does so, leaving thousands of copies in a warehouse abroad.

Can't we even print our own copies of the King James Bible now?

[Charlie]

I once stayed in a hotel in Salt Lake City. There was a 'Book of Mormon' in the drawer next to the bed (as well as a bible). Only someone had crossed out 'Mormon' and written 'shit'. At the time I thought this sort of thing was a bit off, so I took the defaced volume down to the front desk. The clerk received it the same way she might have received a used condom; she held it in her fingertips, looked at it for an instant, and then put it on a low shelf.

[Richard J]

Marriotts worldwide all have the Book of Mormon as well as the Bible, in one of those slight oddities nobody ever really seems to comment on. (This is what you discover when you find yourself in a hotel room in Peterborough at 10:30pm trying to do something other than writing up an audit memorandum.)

[Alex]

OK, so what's the failure-mode? He's obviously getting crazier. At what point does everyone have to accept that yes, he's built a giant mud Britannia in the office?

[jamie]

...the other interpretation might be that he can't resist the opportunity to go rogue early, since the "story" now is the state of the Labour Party. He's just shifted his head to and fro and whipped his cock out for a shufti.

[nick s]

"Warehouse abroad" does make you wonder; China does a lot of high-volume printing for English-language publishers these days, including lots of unnecessary American hardbacks.

If one were to seek private funding for a pillory in which to place Gove, I somehow doubt it would have problems getting adequate private funding. It'd also promote throwing skills in this Olympic year.

At what point does everyone have to accept that yes, he's built a giant mud Britannia in the office?

Or has a scribbled blueprint of a 125m long rubber duck.

[ajay]

It's the "personal inscription" bit that makes me worry.

Because he's right about the KJV Bible, it's part of the core of modern English. If he'd wanted to celebrate Shakespeare's birthday by sending a copy of the Complete Works to every school in the country, no problem.

But I would dearly love to know what this inscription says.

[CMcM]

Hmm. The KJB may be 'part of the core of modern English' but surely the point here is that it ain't the Secretary of State for Education who gets to define course materials. Or is this great push for educational decentralisation and 'freedoms and flexibilities' - aka the Academies programme - going to end up with him designing the timetable and appointing the milk monitors for Bash St High as well?

[chris y]

I did a FoI on the proposed costs for this and when they responded only a couple of weeks ago, they thought it was still going ahead with DoE funding.

If anybody cares, I'll send them a copy of the letter.

[chris y]

On second thoughts, I've posted the letter at Google+.

[redpesto]

Or is this great push for educational decentralisation and 'freedoms and flexibilities' - aka the Academies programme - going to end up with him designing the timetable and appointing the milk monitors for Bash St High as well?

Yes: Gove's inherited all the arbitrary powers and dodgy policies of New Labour, added a few of his own (e.g. 'free schools') and stirred in whatever else is rattling around in his head. We're now beginning to see the results.

[Alex]

A thought. Was Estelle Morris the only education secretary in living memory who wasn't evil, incompetent, or utterly insignificant?

[chris y]

A thought. Was Estelle Morris the only education secretary in living memory who wasn't evil, incompetent, or utterly insignificant?

Probably. I have it on good authority that staff at the DoE were in tears when she quit.

[ejh]

A sceptic writes: these already-printed Bibles do actually exist, don't they?

[skidmarx]

How's one copy per school going to work anyway? Will the last pupil to arrive be the first to read, while the others copy it onto illuminated manuscripts in the way of cutting-edge science?

[Cian]

Because he's right about the KJV Bible, it's part of the core of modern English. If he'd wanted to celebrate Shakespeare's birthday by sending a copy of the Complete Works to every school in the country, no problem.

Well no actually I'd have a problem with that. Its pointless. This is cargo-cult education. Sending a copy of the KingJames to every school does not mean that anything will get done with it. The best possible outcome is that each copy will be deposited in the library and be ignored. I imagine a fair few won't even make it even to the library.

I also suspect that if every school in the country were to buy their own copy, it would be significantly cheaper. So there's that, also.

[a3t]

Is it naive to think that every school in the country probably already has a copy of the KJV?

[Alex]

Shit EdSecs: David "I blame the teachers" Blunkett. Ruth "crank it tighter!" Kelly. Michael "what roof?" Gove.

Evil EdSec: Ken "the worse, the better" Baker.

Insignificant: John "union jack" Patton, and obviously quite a few of the New Labour ones because I can't remember them.

[Charlie W]

Is it naive to think that every school in the country probably already has a copy of the KJV?

They have Good News bibles, I hope.

[mordaunt]

In the 90s the TES usd to refer to 'Sir Keith come-back-all-is forgiven Joseph'.

[Charlie W]

Although fundies and US southerners (intersecting sets) seem to prefer the KJ for some reason.

LT KENDRICK I have two books at my bedside, Lieutenant, the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and the King James Bible. The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer Colonel Nathan R. Jessup and the Lord our God.

[Charlie W]

Genesis 11.5-6, KJV:

And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded. And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Genesis 11.5-6, Good News Bible:

Then the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which they had built, 6 and he said, "Now then, these are all one people and they speak one language; this is just the beginning of what they are going to do. Soon they will be able to do anything they want!

I think you'll agree that the tone of the later version is much more in tune with principles of proper parenting and good governance.

[CMcM]

Some say Keith Joseph did come back, but people didn't notice because he was called Anthony Adonis by then.

[belle le triste]

Don't think the US preference is very mysterious: by the 18th century, KJV became the Eng-lang version of choice for various reasons, in the American colonies as much as anywhere else. By the time alternative translations were gaining momentum in the 19th century in the UK, the US was no longer a colony, and not very surprisingly none of the Brit replacements got any traction over there. The US is a big and a conservative place -- the closest to any kind of bid for change probably came with Noah Webster (who would have called it the Bibl if I recall the Webster changes correctly), but the consensus was agin change, except where heretical sects went all out for entirely new texts (viz the Mormons).

[skidmarx]

At least they're on about the same level when it comes to the story of Elisha, when I checked a Jehovah's Witnesses' version once, the bears had disappeared and God just "called a great evil down on them".

[Barry Freed]

A lot of fundies consider the KJV to be a divinely inspired translation. I'm not sure if that's actually taught as doctrine but it's an argument I've heard plenty of times before.

[ejh]

Some say Keith Joseph did come back, but people didn't notice because he was called Anthony Adonis by then.

Do you mean Andrew Adonis?

[CMcM]

Do you mean Andrew Adonis?

Whatever. Yeah.*Blushes slightly*.

I always called him m'Lord anyway.

[belle le triste]

This piece in the LRB more or less argues that the KJV was as good as it was because it was written by a committee of nobodies.

(May be firewalled to non-subscribers: apologies if so)

[Cian]

I don't think the KJV is particularly popular among fundies, or evangelicals. None of the churches round here use it that I'm aware of and I live in the heart of the bible belt. Most people use one of the (many) modern translations. I forget which one the conservatives like, but its from the last 30 years or so.

By the time alternative translations were gaining momentum in the 19th century in the UK, the US was no longer a colony, and not very surprisingly none of the Brit replacements got any traction over there.

Most English translations in print were translated by Americans. Which isn't surprising when you consider that Theologian and bible scholar are viable career choices here.

[des von bladet]

When I were a lad we had to type

sudo aptitude install bible-kjv

ourselves. *And* we had to root the bloody machines first, uphill both ways in the snow. On the other hand, I'd rather have an integrated concordance than an OUP facsimile any day of the week (and twice on Sundays).

(ObBib Judges 11:30-37.)

[hellblazer]

Not sure "behold" translates as "now then", but that's probably because I'm immediately reminded of Sir Jimmy of Saville. Wouldn't a simple "look" be both more literal and more idiomatic?

[Cian]

When I were a lad we didn't have fancy package managers. Had to hand compile everything. On papryus punch tape.

[Barry Freed]

Papyrus! You were lucky. We had to write everything in assembly language on clay tablets. My dad used to make me gather the mud to make them at 4 in the morning.

[hellblazer]

In an effort to pre-empt the next few comments: if you tell young people of today that, they won't believe you. Now, where's that Chateau de Chasselet, or however you spell it?

[chris y]

I don't think the KJV is particularly popular among fundies, or evangelicals. None of the churches round here use it that I'm aware of and I live in the heart of the bible belt. Most people use one of the (many) modern translations. I forget which one the conservatives like, but its from the last 30 years or so.

There's a category of Fundie who actually believe that the KJV is the only authentic text of the Word of God, and that it trumps the Hebrew/Greek. The archives at Slacktivist will explain the rationale, but it doesn't make any sense.

[Chris Williams]

My own 1970s evo Baptist upbringing was based on the RSV and the GNB. KJV never really got a look in, and I suspect it still doesn't in that milieu: the keen go straight for the Greek. It's a very New Testament theology, thus I get the impression that only the hardcore even of ministers make it as far as the Hebrew.

Cian, you can be a 'bible scholar' as a career in the UK too, only it means something rather different. Like it involves scholarship.

[belle le triste]

I guess the lesson is "don't generalise about divergent versions of xtianity, they only seem similar from the outside"

[jamie]

at Catholic school the bible in whatever version was treated as something explosive which should be avoided by untrained hands. We were just taken in detail through the synoptic gospels. We also had RI - Religious Instruction - rather than RE.

[Alex]

There's a category of Fundie who actually believe that the KJV is the only authentic text of the Word of God

There's a category of Brit that actually believes that the KJV is the only authentic text of the Bible and trumps any other translation, though they don't particularly care about God. It's quite common.

[ejh]

We also had RI - Religious Instruction - rather than RE.

We had RE, but I might be a few years younger than you?

[jamie]

Or maybe a Christian Brothers thing, I dunno.

Actually, I think Alex has described what Gove's up to, namely the British version of Christianism. We invented God, we did.

[Richard J]

My most cherished memories of school RE lessons was watching our born-again Christian teacher lose the plot when the Muslim lads started asking pointed questions about the nature of the trinity and monotheism.

[Cian]

There's a category of Fundie who actually believe that the KJV is the only authentic text of the Word of God, and that it trumps the Hebrew/Greek.

Yeah, but they're really not typical.

Chris:
Cian, you can be a 'bible scholar' as a career in the UK too, only it means something rather different. Like it involves scholarship.

I really meant that there's far more demand for it in the US. Consequently there is far more employment of Biblical Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic specialists in US universities - not to mention bible colleges and the like. So its not surprising they churn out so many translations.

[Cian]

Our RE/RI (it changed constantly - don't ask me why) lessons included a defrocked CofE priest (he had been a protoge of the Bishop of Durham. Yep, that Bishop), a muscular evangelical who was obsessed with the Cross & the Switchblade (don't ask), a very wet and teary evangelical of the FUCKING STUPID variety who tried to proselytize and had to leave after a nervous breakdown.

My theory is that RE has done more to turn the UK into a post-religious culture than any other institution. Dawkins should be praising it, not trying to ban it.

[ajay]

My theory is that RE has done more to turn the UK into a post-religious culture than any other institution. Dawkins should be praising it

He is, for pretty much exactly that reason. Compulsory comparative religious education for all, says Dawkins.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/7951358/Richard-Dawkins-faith-schools-should-not-be-allowed-to-opt-out-of-religious-education.html

[Alex]

Daniel Davies also takes the Dawkins line on RE - it's an effective means of proselytising atheism.

[ajay]

And vice versa on the other side of the debate.

As an aggrieved and petulant Discworld deity complains at one point, "This is religion, boy, not comparison bloody shopping! Thou Shalt Not Subject Thy God To Market Forces!"

[dsquared]

I am actually trying to stay ahead of the curve on that one and am now demanding, instead of RE, compulsory astrology and homepathy lessons in school, which as well as a) instilling healthy scepticism thereof, b) teaching the kids the vital lesson - that "adults often talk the most amazing crap" will c) potentially give them a marketable skill for when they grow up.

My RE teacher was a Methodist lay preacher, who despite having no connection and in many ways deep theological disagreements with the Catholic Church was (apart from his term-long "Switchblade and the Cross" jag) obsessed with proving to us the authenticity of the Shroud of Turin. This was 1989 - ie before the final results from carbon dating caused the Vatican to give up, but a long time after there was any genuine or serious room for debate.

Meanwhile, because not everyone subscribes to Popbitch, this week's blind item is ontopic:

"According to an ex-girlfriend, which
yacht and bible loving cabinet minister
kept a curious jazz mag collection under
his bed?"

[chris y]

We also had RI - Religious Instruction - rather than RE.

Older than either of you - we had Scripture.

dsquared, he had a girlfriend? Somebody actually... Eeeewwww!